We Don't Repair, We Replace.

No matter how hard you try, sometimes you drift apart from your closest people, sometimes even the longest of friendships end. Time loses its essence. Emotions take a back seat. Ego rules your head and heart. Your priorities are different. This way, what could have still been saved, may be with an effort or two, falls apart.

We are a generation that replaces, that doesn't repair, that doesn't try, because we are busy in the race of life. We are too cool, too rigid, with "I don't give a fuck" attitude, and we are too confident that, we can find other people who will be so much better than these stupid people who once were an inseparable part of our life. We break up on text messages, we end friendships by a whatsapp message followed by un-friending, unfollowing on every social media portal. I mean, seriously? Texts, the most fucked up form of communication that only and solely causes confusion and communication gaps!

I am not saying, keep chasing, keep running behind that person, but at least give it one shot? Drop them a text, place a call, and talk, try to figure it out. I know it's easy to find yourself new cool chaps to hang out with, go grab a drink with, and dance the weekend away, but don't you think for all the times you people were there for each other when no one else was, do you think you'll be able to find someone; who you'll run to when your heart is breaking, who you'll run to when you need to approach that guy you've been crushing since forever, someone who you want to share every tiny detail of your day, who you run to when you need those arms to heal you, who you'll call when you have no words to explain what's happening in your head and heart. I think, "your person" should be given one chance, what you shared should be given one chance. The numerous emotions, memories, etc deserve one chance?

Things wither away, but this, what you have, what you share, is not just a THING. I am not at all talking about all the romantic relationships, I am talking about those friendships that worn out, that just change due to no reasons, when people from talking to all day, go to few times in a day, to few times in a week and so on, and then they reach this awkward phase where even if they wish to talk, they dont. They just let go. Letting go may have become easier, because there are so many ways you can keep yourself distracted and occupied, that we dont even give it one chance?

Misunderstandings, Miscommunications, Assumptions and in all this drama, forgetting to listen to the other person. Sigh. What happened to the times, when you gave each other numerous chances and came out stronger? Trusted each other even more? Made promises to never leave even when you feel like hating each other, because you loved each other more than all the hate?

It amazes me, It will always amaze me, how easily we humans, drift apart, sometimes without a word, sometimes with just "one word texts", sometimes by being blocked. How easily we replace, how easily we just let it go,how easily we give up on each other. How we just dont bother about anyone else but our own self?

Love.
D.
xx

Love your Curves!

You are wonderful the way you are.

With everyone going mad about being a size zero, believe me there's more to life than just being a size zero, and NO, I am not saying this, because I am not a size zero or a size two, or because I don't have a Victoria's Secret Body, I am saying this, because I love my curves ( Yes, I'd like to be fitter, and get rid of extra fat though), I don't wish to be skinny, I wish to be fit, yes so that I can fit into that dress, I just saw at a store a week back, not because I want to show it off to the world, and pick up on people who are heavier than me, but because I want to.

You see someone, you don't know their story. You might know them, but you might still not know the reasons why they are a particular way.
I love cake, I love pizza, I love all of it, Yes , I know they have a zillion calories, but mentioning them right when I am having it or pointing out "OMG, so many calories" won't take away the fat I already have, rather I just hate it when people start discussing weight while having food. LIKE WHY DO YOU WANT TO DISCUSS IT RIGHT NOW?

Being conscious about your weight , I understand. OBSESSING OVER IT, is stupid. And to top it, when all the so called FIT , ATTRACTIVE, PERFECT BODIED people think, they have the right to pick up on people who aren't in the mentioned category, and they do it, all I can think of is, giving them one TIGHT SLAP, because these people are the reason why people go on crash diets, and start suffering from anorexia. Maybe the fat guy/girl you saw have no control over the weight, may be they tend to gain sooner than you do, may be they eat half of what you do, and still gain.

Beauty to me, is only skin deep. Since when did it start meaning, being tall, or being skinny, or being fair etcetera? Since when did all of us become so shallow to just love the body and ignore the heart a person has?

In the recent times where every girl's dream is to be a 'size zero', the society pictures fat women as undesirable and unattractive, let's change it all, embrace yourself, Embrace your curves, Smile and be proud when someone says, you have curves. You are beautiful the way you are. Your heart and brain makes you beautiful, the body one day would have wrinkles and that day if you still have a smart mouth and a loving heart, I think, I'D ALWAYS WANT SOMEONE LIKE THAT CLOSE TO ME!

Dress Well, Stay Pretty, Shine ON! Show off those curves, Bones don't make you sexayy, Curves do!!! Love your body, Love yourself. Stop looking down at yourself, if you have flabby arms or heavier thighs. If you wouldn't love yourself then how can you expect someone else to?
Imperfection is Beauty, Size zero isn't! :)

Love

xx

My Heart Is In My Vagina.

It has always amazed me how some people manage separating their heart and brains, and honestly I would do anything to do that, ANYTHING. Why? Because that is one thing I fail to do, no matter what.

Sleeping with a friend is no longer a taboo, but a lifestyle choice, generally called, "Friends with Benefits". So, you enjoy the company, fool around, chill, have sex, and don't get involved emotionally. Whereas I see nothing wrong in it, I fail to even dare to think about entering something like that. I mean, is it really possible to keep your heart away while you are going to the highest level of intimacy? Can you be so comfortable around someone so that you give your body to them, without having any feelings ? Can you just kiss and not feel anything? 

I remember trying to not have any emotions , I failed, miserably, and hence I say my heart is in my vagina. Putting it in a simpler way, I cannot be physically involved with anyone who I don't have some mental, some emotional connection with. Intimacy, isn't it something that involves both the heart and body? How can something that is so intimate, sleeping with someone be so easy that you keep your emotions at bay? 

I don't think I can be comfortable naked in front of some stranger I just met at a club. I don't think I can kiss someone I don't have feelings for (may be love, maybe something else). I don't think I can just have sex and not care. The maximum I can do is pretend , but sooner or later it ends, and you realise how bad horrible the situation is. You end up in a state which prima facie is irreparable.

Friends with Benefits, might sound fun, of course, you are sleeping with someone without baggage, no commitment, no exclusivity , nothing. But the other side of it, you can end up shattered. What if when you are sleeping with a good friend, and you end up having feelings and then, BAMM. Do you think, you'd be able to lose the friend? I DON'T.  The last thing I want is losing people close, in fact, my biggest fear has been losing people. I know life is not a fairytale and hence risking friendship and having hope that may be this arrangement turns into something romantic is well, stupid.

Though at times you might just try to get the feelings away, but deep down you start seeing him in a different light. The damage is done, it has begun. You admit that you might like him, but you push that thought away. Sounds EASY, but it ISN'T. 

More than anything, FWB requires a control over your feelings right? I am not ashamed to accept that I cannot. It's not that I refuse to do it, I know it deep down, I cannot let someone be so close without feeling something for the person. I'd probably retreat and runaway, if there's no mental or emotional connect. Sometimes you are so comfortable with someone , that even though you know it won't last like you'd want it to, you just go ahead with it. You risk, you risk your heart and go ahead because you like it, and there's nothing wrong in it. What is wrong is , the damage it'll cause you.

Sometimes I wish, it hasn't been this way. Life would be easier. The heart won't be risked, it won't be dented, it would be intact, even when you are just sexually involved with someone. In current times I love how women are being so open about their bodies sexually, and admitting that they need such kind of intimacy. Unfortunately it leaves a lot of women vulnerable, can you separate sex from love?

Women should be able to be as free as they like with their bodies, as long as women like me understand that sometimes they will grow attached, and have to be prepared for the possibility that the men they want to be with won’t want to be with them. I don't know what one is supposed to do in such a situation, if you think you can be brave enough to get bruised and broken and get up, DO IT. If you think, you cannot, just DONT get into it. No matter how much you love the other person to be able to give him your all, without any returns, just LOVE yourself MORE always, and have the courage to WALK away, because you aren't Mila Kunis, you JUST AREN'T.

Love,

xx

It's never enough. NEVER.

Efforts. Efforts they say always count, in every field, be it relationships, friendships, academics and LIFE in general. But at this one point of time, it strikes you it's never enough. You may end up changing yourself for someone, but sometimes all they can see is all the flaws in you. 
We are human beings, and we are flawed, but when we are aware of them and we try and work on it,  and then one thing which makes you stop doing it , when the people closest to you won't appreciate the effort. Fine, don't appreciate but stop saying that there's no effort. 

They say, things change, things work when you want them to, but I think, no matter what you do, when something is not pleasant to the eye, that person would probably not say it, but it's there , there right in the heart, which you cannot see, but it comes only when there's an emotional outburst. So how long can one explain things? How long can one hope that things would be forgotten, things would not be mentioned because they are so futile.? How long?

Truth is of various kinds, one is the truth that'll be exactly what it is, it's harsh but it's real and it surely is something that is  not good to hear , the second is polished truth, so it's more like stating the facts but well you coat it with other things so that it's not unpleasant and not at all harsh. The third is manipulated truth, which I don't really consider in the category of truth. 
When people lie, knowing that the truth hurts, the one aspect they miss is that when the truth will come out, the hurt would be graver, it would be deeper and it'll take a longer time to heal, to be forgotten.

There comes a time when you want to give up on everything; friendships, relationships, hardships, on LIFE.
At that time, if you're lucky, someone would be there, to make you come back to life and deal with it, but at times the person you need to pick yourself up, is the only person who you are tired of explaining things, and when that happens, you realise, it's NEVER enough, it NEVER was, NEVER will be. 

Here it is then. I QUIT.

Uncalled Changes.

" All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another." - Anatole France


There are times when life throws everything at you together! All at once, and you are lost. Change is never easy, you fight to hold on, you fight to let go. Changes in people, situations, places, things around, and it goes on and on. What makes it difficult? the consequences of a particular change, its effect ,its aftermath. You fail to comprehend, to decipher the reasons why all of a sudden this great change happened, and why are things going haywire.Why would all changes happen at once?

Is this how things are supposed to be?

One friend you always counted on is no more around, a person you loved looking at when you felt lost has left and a place where you have lived your life, growing up, running around, chasing buses, laughing sitting at this one bench till 11 with a childhood friend is left behind. How does one deal with all of this? How do you keep letting go off people who were more than just a part of your life? The people without whom your life is nothing but a blank canvas! How do you just be okay with the fact that the ones who painted the canvas with all the beautiful colours, those beautiful memories are the ones you have to let go? They drift , drift away from you into this huge chaotic world, and you can do nothing but watch them, watch them leave, because if that makes them happy , then all you can do is smile. Smile every time you see something and remember them, every time you see two people acting the way you did and just live with those little little happy times which are engraved in your heart.

Who is to be blamed? People, situation or the distance? But wasn't the distance supposed to make the heart grow fonder?

Then sometimes, the person whose been the sole reason why you are loving your life at a particular place and time is no more like they used to. Yes, with age people change, but what's with the effect they have on other? Can't they for once think how deep a few things can hurt?The lack of comfort, communication gap, this void which is created, where did those days go? The days when that person was the first one to understand how horribly something is wrong with you, that your mind is wandering and you need someone to just hold on to, that your silence speaks of how hurt you are; that one person no more understands. WHY?

There's no one answer to this. Sometimes people need to just be with themselves. They need to take time off each other, even the closest of friends. The only fear that haunts is, what is this "time off each other" leads to the same thing that happened in t he past? What if this creates a distance, a space which never lets things get back to square one? No matter how much you try, a mirror once broken can never be the same again.

Lost as ever , Lost in the echoes, Lost in this huge space, all I can think of is meeting someone who'll make me feel at home, at peace. All I can think of is running and hugging a person who would understand the turbulence happening in my heart with just one hug. No words, No nothing..

Disappointments have been constant. But sometimes when you are disappointed by your close people it takes a toll on you. You are shaken, shaken to the core. You are sometimes hurt beyond repair. Broken promises, disappointments and people drifting apart, have an irreparable effect on me.So eventually you leave to live with the changes, the changes you always feared, the changes you never thought would happen, the changes that make you realise what the reality is! The changes that weren't suppose to happen, the changes that were uncalled for!
The challenge of dealing with changes is thrown at you, and it doesn't wait. Life does not look back. Changes will keep happening, it is the only constant! You can do nothing but adapt to the. Everyone you once thought you cannot live without, you learn to, you learn to, you learn to deal with changing times, situations, people , places. It's harder every time, but what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.

Divya
xx

INCREDIBLE INDIA! REALLY?

RAPE. MOLESTS. ACID ATTACKS. EXPLICIT COMMENTS. UNHEALTHY TOUCHES. STARES. ASSAULTS.

The slightest thought of it shakes the soul of every women. Trust me, you can never understand what a woman goes through during that incident and after that. Rape is more mental than physical. It leaves a scar on the very soul of a woman who goes through it.

21 years and everyday when I step out of the house, I have to keep reassuring my parents that I am SAFE. I AM OKAY. I have to listen to all the sick statements made by all kinds of men around me. 

And so that I dont get acid attacks, I am told to IGNORE whatever is heard by me.

WHY?

All these years , I have been scared, because I AM A WOMAN. 

Every Woman is SCARED , because SHE'S A WOMAN. Is it a sin?
Be it a village , a small town, a metropolitan , RAPES and these incidents happen everywhere.
The ones who say, How a woman dresses increases or decreases her chances of getting raped , Answer one simple questions, WHY WOMEN IN VILLAGE ARE RAPED?
The ones who say illiteracy is the CAUSE, that means, Inspector General of Police, SPS RATHORE WAS AN UNEDUCATED, ILLITERATE MAN.
Rapists are Poor. Rape crosses all class lines.  People have been raped by doctors, lawyers, police
officers, and other authority figures.  Because of their social and financial positions, these
offenders are seldom prosecuted for the acts of violence, and their actions are seldom
publicized.
RAPISTS CAUSE RAPE. PERIOD.

Sexual assault is provoked by the victim.  Victims ask for it by their actions,
behaviors, or by the way they dress. The answer is :To say that someone wants to be raped is the same as saying that people ask to be mugged or robbed.  In fact, most rapes are at least partially planned in advance and the victim is often threatened with death or bodily harm if she resists.Sexual assault is not a spontaneous crime of sexual passion.  It is a violent attack on an individual using
sex as a weapon.Sex is used to defile, degrade and destroy a victim’s will and control over her own body.  For the victim, it is a humiliating, near death situation. No person would ask for or deserve such an attack


RAPE IS DONE BY ORDINARY MALE, THEY ARE ALL AROUND YOU, YOU CANNOT SPOT ONE IN THE CROWD, ITS NOT THAT THEY ARE RICH, POOR, EDUCATED, UNEDUCATED. THEY ARE SICK, VERY SICK.

The ubiquitous, unashamed leering on the streets, the attempt of men to just touch you while you travel in a local bus,  or when you are standing in a queue, the various men who follow you in cycles , motorcycles yelling obscenities . The constant vigilance required each time we take an auto, to be sure he was taking the right route. The fear of lecherous policemen on the lookout for young girls out late at night with male friends. The incidents when females tried to protect themselves , they end up in a worse state, they are raped, acid thrown, and are killed or left in a state worse than death. 

Men flaunt their power of gender and abuse it because they can. Just like that politician who will have someone sacked or beaten up if he dares to offend. The rich guy who will mow a passerby down and drive on by.
Take a culture of violence and hierarchy, add the modern Indian woman, newly at large on the streets, on her way to work, college, or a date. The result is horrific sexual assault. 
Women in big cities are an easier target , because they have stepped out of the four walls of the home.But women are not even safe in those four walls.
The studies show that majority of sexual assaults happen either at the victim's or the offender's place.

Every parent of a girl is scared to send her out to do the smallest of things, I have seen girls who are meant for the best of institutions but because of everyday incidences of female molestation and rape are forced by scared parents to drop out of studies, or to study in some institute which is closer to the house. 

It may be comforting to think that the Delhi is the MOST UNSAFE, But the reality as The Hindu says, is that Delhi’s reputation as India’s “rape capital” may be misleading: “There are plenty of other places in India with a higher incidence of reported rape, in population adjusted terms — and Delhi’s record on convicting perpetrators is far higher than the national average.

A Hindustan Times survey conducted with NGO Akshara last year revealed that 95 percent of women in Mumbai — the bastion of cosmopolitanism — have been sexually harassed, and the conviction rate in rape cases in the city is a paltry 7 percent.

Girls of 3  months have been raped too, and so have women of age 40 plus. They are rapes in villages, in every part of the country. Be it DELHI, MUMBAI, CALCUTTA or small villages , or small cities. ITS NOT THE CITY which CAUSES RAPE, but the MEN who are their. 

The people who rape women are men. Unless men stop raping women, it won’t stop.

Therefore, if at all things have to change, they have to be with men. Teach them first. Teach them that they need to learn that women are no objects, they are HUMANS, and are made to be respected not OBJECTIFIED . Teach them that SEX is no WRONG, but doing that without a WOMAN'S permission is a heinous crime. More than the desire or testosterone, it is the cultural ideas or social norms that they they have grown up with, which drive them. Our culture should ask them to stop. Or we have to change our culture.

Stop laughing when you see 10 men singing watching a girl in a song in a movie, STOP OBJECTIFICATION OF WOMEN. SHE IS NOT AN OBJECT TO FULFILL YOUR LUST. SHE'S THE ONE WHERE YOU CAME FROM. 

There was a case of a 17-year-old girl raped by her father, stepfather and several others over the last one year in Kerala. In another incident again in Kerala, a six-year-old girl was allegedly sexually abused by her 40-year-old father for six months after forcing her to drink alcohol.

There is NO SPECIAL CATEGORY THEY BELONG TO. KNOW THIS. THEY CAN BE RIGHT BESIDE YOU.

WHAT IS THE SOLUTION?

Life Imprisonment : WHY NOT? Because that angry man when leaves the jail , would probably teach his progeny how to rape ! You spend on him and he's staying safe in those walls. Nothing would change. HE'S MENTALLY SICK AND 14 YEARS OR MORE WONT CHANGE THAT.

Capital Punishment : RAREST OF RARE CASES. It is saddening but I still fail to understand what is RAREST OF THE RARE CASE? Wasn't the Aruna Shaunbaug Case Rarest of rare? 

Are women everyday raped and sodomized and then strangulated by a chain? ITS HIGH TIME TO REALISE. EVERY RAPE IS RAREST OF RARE. Its worse than being shot by a gun. Its the effect it has on a WOMAN who is the victim of that. By hanging them you kill them in one go, How can you forget the woman who was raped, was tortured every second, when she was being raped, and later when she's asked all the HUMILIATING questions, which question her dignity. She tries to end her life. Sometimes she's left in a state where she's just lying like a dead body. If she's been raped by some rich brat, her family is tortured, killed. 

In result to this, how can you just give capital punishment or life imprisonment?

Its TIME FOR DETERRENT MEASURES. THE MEN WHO HAVE THE AUDACITY TO TOUCH A GIRL PASSING BY , NEED TO KNOW WHAT CAN BE THE CONSEQUENCES OF THIS. Castration is against ARTICLE 21 and DOESNT ARTICLE 21 GIVE US , WOMEN THE RIGHT TO SAFE LIFE? 

THE RIGHT TO FREELY GO OUT WITHOUT HAVING THE THOUGHT OF BEING LECHED BY A RANDOM MAN. THE RIGHT TO HER BODY.  THE RIGHT TO LIVE FREELY WITHOUT TAKING PRECAUTIONS?

DETERRENT MEASURES SO THAT THE NEXT TIME WHEN ANOTHER MAN EYES A WOMAN, HE IS HAS THIS THOUGHT IN THE BACK OF HIS MIND THAT HE'LL GO THROUGH VERSE. DETERRENT MEASURES BECAUSE DECADES HAVE PASSED AND REFORMATIVE MEASURES HAVEN'T GOT THE NUMBER DONE.

DETERRENT MEASURES BECAUSE, THEN THE RAPIST WOULD KNOW, THE AGONY, THE PAIN, WHAT A WOMAN GOES THROUGH.

QUICKER TRIALS , IMPRISONMENT HAVEN'T HELPED. AND WONT. THE SOLUTION HAS TO BE SOMETHING WHICH BRINGS A CHANGE.

WOMEN HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE CAREFREE . WOMEN HAVE A RIGHT OVER THEIR BODIES.WOMEN HAVE A RIGHT TO  BE RESPECTED. WOMEN ARE HUMANS NOT OBJECTS. REALISE THAT. TEACH YOUR SONS THAT.  STOP THE PERSON WHEN YOU SEE HIM DOING THAT. HELP A WOMEN. BE THE SAVIORS. REMEMBER THE GIRL WHOSE BEING LECHED CAN BE YOUR MOTHER OR SISTER OR DAUGHTER OR WIFE TOO.

APPLY WHAT YOU SPEAK. APPLY WHAT YOU THINK . DONT JUST SPEAK. ACT