Of Mornings, Next to You.

As the light begins to pour in,
Through the filters of the curtains,
I am awake for a brief while.
He's still asleep,

The sun is streaming in gently,
I climb up our legs, entwined.
I squint against the light,
Shutting my eyes tight,
I bury my face in my favourite place,
Between your head and your shoulder ; the perfect sculpted space.

The warmth of your closeness,
The rhythm of the breath in your chest,
Make me fall in sleep again.
I breathe in your morning fragrance,
I let sleep take over..
Love felt, unexpressed, kept for later.

I reach out to feel your stubble against my palm,
And put my fingers through your hair.
Your body so calm,
Your soul bare.

Waking up next to you is so bewildering,
It takes me a while to know that I ain't dreaming.
Your innocent face, your half smile, the lashes of your still shut eyes, those tiny dark circles because of lack of sleep.
How vulnerable, yet desirable you look when asleep.

The way you caress, the way you pull me closer,
Your sometimes arousing, your sometimes calming whisper.
What more I wonder, would heaven be?

This, a reality far beautiful than a dream could ever be.


Love.

xx

To 2015, With Love.

Sometimes Home is a place , sometimes it is a person, this Home is a place with specific people.
Dilli, 2015 has been my highlight of this year. You know how every year you want to make it a better year, have zillion things to do, lists, places, resolutions; and end of the year you have hardly done anything. 2015 is my favourite year since 1992. I have met a lot of people randomly, and sometimes they are around for a while, sometimes they are not. This set of random people, are the ones, I am not letting go off for the rest of my life, that's how deeply they've touched my heart and affected my life.

John Green said, "The marks that human leaves are most often scars." Not ALWAYS. Never ever. Sometimes what people leave you with are marks of happiness, that can brighten up a sad day. You can rewind think of that one night when you felt happiness like you've never before. Those nights, Those days, Those moments are the ones that don't need pictures to be reminded of, they never fade away, they're right there in your head, and you'll time and again have a flash of them, and you'll be smiling, feeling the same happiness you felt that very night. Crazy right? :)

Sometimes, you bump into people who make you feel at home, who give you so much happiness, who give you warmth, who give you reality checks, who make you become a better person, but who don't judge you , people you can be YOU with, people you can rely on, people who'll probably not call you , text you, meet you often, but then when you meet them, it's like you've never separated.

I found home in House Number 48, Hauz Khas Village, Delhi-110006, and these three people who when mentioned will always bring a HUGE GRIN on my face. The one thing common in them , you can slit open your heart and mind and it's effortless. It's as smooth as the most expensive scotch. These are three different personalities, but when together I don't think there's a moment when I am not smiling, even if I am not smiling, my heart is happy, at peace and trying to absorb all the zillion things happening, so that later whenever I feel that, life isn't happy, I can remember these three, laughing, dancing, drinking, and I instantly feel better. They are the light that one needs on a dark gloomy night, or the last drop of water when there's drought.

2015, gave me three people, I'd never want to lose. None of them are similar to each other, all of them have something to give you, to teach you, and they'll add to your life in their own different ways. They are my doze of happiness, hope, laughter, fun, lessons, and everything else.

You know how reading an old conversation fills you up with happiness, that's the happiness I get when I am thinking of these three. I am smiling, remembering how they laugh out their heart and that image is my favourite. :)

So, 2015, to the year that you were, you've been kind, and I cannot thank you enough for giving me three gifts, wrapped up in different wrappings, each one being irreplaceable, each one being close to my heart, each one being as beautiful as the other.

Thanking you from the deepest corner of my heart for every memory , for every happiness, for everything that I have missed thanking you for. Thank you Shashi, Gaurav, Deepika :)

Some people take you to a place, where you've never been, where no one else can take you. You guys are the ones who do that. :)
STAY ALWAYS.

Love, Hugs and Kisses.

Divya
xx

Love your Curves!

You are wonderful the way you are.

With everyone going mad about being a size zero, believe me there's more to life than just being a size zero, and NO, I am not saying this, because I am not a size zero or a size two, or because I don't have a Victoria's Secret Body, I am saying this, because I love my curves ( Yes, I'd like to be fitter, and get rid of extra fat though), I don't wish to be skinny, I wish to be fit, yes so that I can fit into that dress, I just saw at a store a week back, not because I want to show it off to the world, and pick up on people who are heavier than me, but because I want to.

You see someone, you don't know their story. You might know them, but you might still not know the reasons why they are a particular way.
I love cake, I love pizza, I love all of it, Yes , I know they have a zillion calories, but mentioning them right when I am having it or pointing out "OMG, so many calories" won't take away the fat I already have, rather I just hate it when people start discussing weight while having food. LIKE WHY DO YOU WANT TO DISCUSS IT RIGHT NOW?

Being conscious about your weight , I understand. OBSESSING OVER IT, is stupid. And to top it, when all the so called FIT , ATTRACTIVE, PERFECT BODIED people think, they have the right to pick up on people who aren't in the mentioned category, and they do it, all I can think of is, giving them one TIGHT SLAP, because these people are the reason why people go on crash diets, and start suffering from anorexia. Maybe the fat guy/girl you saw have no control over the weight, may be they tend to gain sooner than you do, may be they eat half of what you do, and still gain.

Beauty to me, is only skin deep. Since when did it start meaning, being tall, or being skinny, or being fair etcetera? Since when did all of us become so shallow to just love the body and ignore the heart a person has?

In the recent times where every girl's dream is to be a 'size zero', the society pictures fat women as undesirable and unattractive, let's change it all, embrace yourself, Embrace your curves, Smile and be proud when someone says, you have curves. You are beautiful the way you are. Your heart and brain makes you beautiful, the body one day would have wrinkles and that day if you still have a smart mouth and a loving heart, I think, I'D ALWAYS WANT SOMEONE LIKE THAT CLOSE TO ME!

Dress Well, Stay Pretty, Shine ON! Show off those curves, Bones don't make you sexayy, Curves do!!! Love your body, Love yourself. Stop looking down at yourself, if you have flabby arms or heavier thighs. If you wouldn't love yourself then how can you expect someone else to?
Imperfection is Beauty, Size zero isn't! :)

Love

xx

My Heart Is In My Vagina.

It has always amazed me how some people manage separating their heart and brains, and honestly I would do anything to do that, ANYTHING. Why? Because that is one thing I fail to do, no matter what.

Sleeping with a friend is no longer a taboo, but a lifestyle choice, generally called, "Friends with Benefits". So, you enjoy the company, fool around, chill, have sex , and don't get involved emotionally. Whereas I see nothing wrong in it, I fail to even dare to think about entering something like that. I mean, is it really possible to keep your heart away while you are going to the highest level of intimacy? Can you be so comfortable around someone so that you give your body to them, without having any feelings ? Can you just kiss and not feel anything? 

I remember trying to not have any emotions , I failed, miserably, and hence I say my heart is in my vagina. Putting it in a simpler way, I cannot be physically involved with anyone who I don't have some mental, some emotional connection with. Intimacy, isn't it something that involves both the heart and body? How can something that is so intimate, sleeping with someone be so easy that you keep your emotions at bay? 

I don't think I can be comfortable naked in front of some stranger I just met at a club. I don't think I can kiss someone I don't have feelings for (may be love, maybe something else). I don't think I can just have sex and not care. The maximum I can do is pretend , but sooner or later it ends, and you realise how bad horrible the situation is. You end up in a state which prima facie is irreparable.

Friends with Benefits, might sound fun, of course, you are sleeping with someone without baggage, no commitment, no exclusivity , nothing. But the other side of it, you can end up shattered. What if when you are sleeping with a good friend, and you end up having feelings and then, BAMM. Do you think, you'd be able to lose the friend? I DON'T.  The last thing I want is losing people close, in fact, my biggest fear has been losing people. I know life is not a fairytale and hence risking friendship and having hope that may be this arrangement turns into something romantic is well, stupid.

Though at times you might just try to get the feelings away, but deep down you start seeing him in a different light. The damage is done, it has begun. You admit that you might like him, but you push that thought away. Sounds EASY, but it ISN'T. 

More than anything, FWB requires a control over your feelings right? I am not ashamed to accept that I cannot. It's not that I refuse to do it, I know it deep down, I cannot let someone be so close without feeling something for the person. I'd probably retreat and runaway, if there's no mental or emotional connect. Sometimes you are so comfortable with someone , that even though you know it won't last like you'd want it to, you just go ahead with it. You risk, you risk your heart and go ahead because you like it, and there's nothing wrong in it. What is wrong is , the damage it'll cause you.

Sometimes I wish, it hasn't been this way. Life would be easier. The heart won't be risked, it won't be dented, it would be intact, even when you are just sexually involved with someone. In current times I love how women are being so open about their bodies sexually, and admitting that they need such kind of intimacy. Unfortunately it leaves a lot of women vulnerable, can you separate sex from love?

Women should be able to be as free as they like with their bodies, as long as women like me understand that sometimes they will grow attached, and have to be prepared for the possibility that the men they want to be with won’t want to be with them. I don't know what one is supposed to do in such a situation, if you think you can be brave enough to get bruised and broken and get up, DO IT. If you think, you cannot, just DONT get into it. No matter how much you love the other person to be able to give him your all, without any returns, just LOVE yourself MORE always, and have the courage to WALK away, because you aren't Mila Kunis, you JUST AREN'T.

Love,

xx

Year One. Law School. Part 2. " The Dilli Girl."

So while on the train from home to Raipur, I was keeping a track of things happening in college through this "Dilli Girl" , I met during the admissions. So, the first thing that came into my mind after our first phone conversation was , " Dude, finally someone who speaks as much as I do" :D hahaha. *Don't kill me babe, you know I love you.*

It's strange, sometimes you end up with people you thought you will never even speak to, Life is so unpredictable. This "Dilli Girl" is Sangya Negi. The one I thought will never speak to anyone and would keep to herself, but NO! She's all smiling, waving to people and the best part, she ends up being my reason for surviving college till today. 

So Sangya Negi, is from "Gurgaon", and when you first know this, you would imagine her to be hi-fi , arrogant, oh I am so cool kinds, but NO.! She's sweet, warm, welcoming, adorable, mature and I can go on and on. You dont really look for people who you just FIT with, but sometimes you end up with exactly the person you need. So this girl was the first gift "Law School" gave me. The sole reason why I have survived the eight semesters, the only person who could get me at one go, (LET ME TELL YOU, IT'S NOT THAT EASY), the person who I was lucky to meet, the person I trust with my life, the person I can kill for, the person in college who I owe my law school life to. :)

They say, sometimes it takes years to build a friendship and sometimes just a few moments, and that was what happened. A few moments here and there, and it was as if we knew each other since long. Endless conversations about everything, from a freaking earring to some life decision as to what is to be done after 5 years. There wasn't anything which we won't talk about. (AND THEN PEOPLE ACTUALLY THOUGHT WE TALK ABOUT THEM, WE NEED TO STOP TALKING ABOUT OURSELVES FIRST FOR THAT, DUHH) Life was good.

Slowly, that feeling of missing home subsided, the feeling of HNLU being a second home had seeped in, I was happy , YES. (There were a few expectations from college , people and probably they weren't the same, but then "DILLI GIRL" was there). 

Trips to the city, a few additions to US happened, here and there meeting new people, getting to know things around, College life just began, and there was so much more to explore, learn and see. I was excited and worried like a little kid is when he/she first goes to school. 

Bring it on LIFE, I am eagerly waiting to see you closely , I said and this was a KICKASS start to the new phase called, "COLLEGE". 

Love
xx

She will kill me for this. Semester III.

FOOOD MAKES US HAPPY. ALWAYS. <3 td="">

Needless to say, what you MEAN to me, and always WILL! :*

You Pretty WOMAN, SANGYA!