Sometimes people push you away . At times by their words, at times by their actions, at times you just feel it. You feel terrible because their acts have been constantly hurting you. Every time you just forget it and carry on with things, but whenever there's something new that hurts you, you remember all the past things they have done. No its not intentional, probably its because of their present state of mind, or the present situation. But I wonder, don't they realise how selfish they are being?
I understand everyone has to choose between being selfish and selfless. But is choosing selfish or self love over being selfless all the time justified?
I seldom think about this, but whenever I do, the grief this causes is something words fail to express. When someone whose just the one who you share things with, makes you feel like you don't exist, makes you feel left out, shares their sadness with this random friend they have, you feel terrible!
People might think I over-react , but had this been something that happened once, I would never have, but its been happening, and it continues to happen. This happy It-doesn't-affect-me Smile is too much to keep. I want to runaway. I want to close myself and never get close to her or him or anyone else . Because when someone who was once the closest is no more close, it kills you. It shakes , breaks you, and you lose, you lose yourself in a way , you can never get back to being the same person.
Or may be its normal not to share sometimes, may be its normal to hurt someone, because someone whose close to you is hurting you. Justified or not. All I want is this thing to go away. This feeling of remorse. This feeling of extreme sadness. This feeling that won't let me be in peace.
So before it becomes too much to handle, I should retreat, and like I always said and believed, I'll stay till the time you need me, that's when my part as a friend begins. When you don't need me anymore, I shall bid you goodbye .
Farewell friend.
I understand everyone has to choose between being selfish and selfless. But is choosing selfish or self love over being selfless all the time justified?
I seldom think about this, but whenever I do, the grief this causes is something words fail to express. When someone whose just the one who you share things with, makes you feel like you don't exist, makes you feel left out, shares their sadness with this random friend they have, you feel terrible!
People might think I over-react , but had this been something that happened once, I would never have, but its been happening, and it continues to happen. This happy It-doesn't-affect-me Smile is too much to keep. I want to runaway. I want to close myself and never get close to her or him or anyone else . Because when someone who was once the closest is no more close, it kills you. It shakes , breaks you, and you lose, you lose yourself in a way , you can never get back to being the same person.
Or may be its normal not to share sometimes, may be its normal to hurt someone, because someone whose close to you is hurting you. Justified or not. All I want is this thing to go away. This feeling of remorse. This feeling of extreme sadness. This feeling that won't let me be in peace.
So before it becomes too much to handle, I should retreat, and like I always said and believed, I'll stay till the time you need me, that's when my part as a friend begins. When you don't need me anymore, I shall bid you goodbye .
Farewell friend.
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