Uncalled Changes.

" All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another." - Anatole France


There are times when life throws everything at you together! All at once, and you are lost. Change is never easy, you fight to hold on, you fight to let go. Changes in people, situations, places, things around, and it goes on and on. What makes it difficult? the consequences of a particular change, its effect ,its aftermath. You fail to comprehend, to decipher the reasons why all of a sudden this great change happened, and why are things going haywire.Why would all changes happen at once?

Is this how things are supposed to be?

One friend you always counted on is no more around, a person you loved looking at when you felt lost has left and a place where you have lived your life, growing up, running around, chasing buses, laughing sitting at this one bench till 11 with a childhood friend is left behind. How does one deal with all of this? How do you keep letting go off people who were more than just a part of your life? The people without whom your life is nothing but a blank canvas! How do you just be okay with the fact that the ones who painted the canvas with all the beautiful colours, those beautiful memories are the ones you have to let go? They drift , drift away from you into this huge chaotic world, and you can do nothing but watch them, watch them leave, because if that makes them happy , then all you can do is smile. Smile every time you see something and remember them, every time you see two people acting the way you did and just live with those little little happy times which are engraved in your heart.

Who is to be blamed? People, situation or the distance? But wasn't the distance supposed to make the heart grow fonder?

Then sometimes, the person whose been the sole reason why you are loving your life at a particular place and time is no more like they used to. Yes, with age people change, but what's with the effect they have on other? Can't they for once think how deep a few things can hurt?The lack of comfort, communication gap, this void which is created, where did those days go? The days when that person was the first one to understand how horribly something is wrong with you, that your mind is wandering and you need someone to just hold on to, that your silence speaks of how hurt you are; that one person no more understands. WHY?

There's no one answer to this. Sometimes people need to just be with themselves. They need to take time off each other, even the closest of friends. The only fear that haunts is, what is this "time off each other" leads to the same thing that happened in t he past? What if this creates a distance, a space which never lets things get back to square one? No matter how much you try, a mirror once broken can never be the same again.

Lost as ever , Lost in the echoes, Lost in this huge space, all I can think of is meeting someone who'll make me feel at home, at peace. All I can think of is running and hugging a person who would understand the turbulence happening in my heart with just one hug. No words, No nothing..

Disappointments have been constant. But sometimes when you are disappointed by your close people it takes a toll on you. You are shaken, shaken to the core. You are sometimes hurt beyond repair. Broken promises, disappointments and people drifting apart, have an irreparable effect on me.So eventually you leave to live with the changes, the changes you always feared, the changes you never thought would happen, the changes that make you realise what the reality is! The changes that weren't suppose to happen, the changes that were uncalled for!
The challenge of dealing with changes is thrown at you, and it doesn't wait. Life does not look back. Changes will keep happening, it is the only constant! You can do nothing but adapt to the. Everyone you once thought you cannot live without, you learn to, you learn to, you learn to deal with changing times, situations, people , places. It's harder every time, but what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.

Divya
xx